Let all the parts of your story exist.

Imagine my surprise when seemingly out of nowhere, I got a text from my now-wife stating that she was questioning her gender identity. I had been with my partner for 5 years when she told me she was trans.

I watched her wrestle with her identity and with dysphoria. I wanted to be strong for her, but I also felt myself pulling apart at the seams. So much of what I had taken for granted was being called into question. All I knew is that our relationship didn’t have to end.

I turned to my therapist to explore these feelings of sudden insecurity. At times therapy was helpful, but most often, it just seemed like they didn’t get what I was going through. I was grieving: for my rapidly changing relationship and for the narratives I had about my partner and our future together. My therapist didn’t get that.

Having gone through this process, I learned two things. (Well, more than two things.)

Holding space and being affirming means allowing for contradictory emotions. It means accepting and supporting people and their partners, whatever the journey looks like for them. It is approaching gender-diverse people and relationships with kindness and humility.

I also realized this is what therapy is, regardless of identity or the reason for seeking support: Therapy is about helping people find their way when they feel like they’ve lost their map, their phone has no service, and the car won’t start.

I love giving my clients the feeling of being heard and understood, and supporting them in figuring out what they need from themselves and their loved ones.

What is therapy with me like?

My approach to therapy is a relational one. However, unlike friendships, teacher-student, or doctor-patient relationships, the therapeutic relationship tends to be unfamiliar territory.

Sometimes, therapy can feel awkward or weird at first. If you’re used to doing things on your own, opening up about things you’re “not supposed to feel” can be strange. As that initial discomfort fades and we develop trust and safety, the therapeutic relationship takes shape. That’s where the magic happens!

In general, therapy with me:

• Can be energizing and playful, with room for humor and levity

• Makes space for difficult emotions, like anger, vulnerability, and pain

• Centers on you and your experiences; you are the expert and you make the change

• Allows you to set your own limits and goes at your pace

• Is a venue for exploring healthy boundaries and interpersonal conflict

• Is a relationship that accepts,empowers, validates, and challenges

Who are my People?

Transgender, non-binary, and gender non-conforming individuals and partners of trans people: Whether you’re looking for therapy on your own, as a couple, or polycule, I want to make space for you that doesn’t question who you are or make decisions for you. Maybe you’re newly transitioning and you need to delve into the unexplored parts of yourself. Maybe you’re a partner who needs a supportive person to work out their own feelings. Maybe you are a couple that just wants someone who isn’t going to scrutinize your relationship just because one or both of you is gender diverse. You deserve gender affirming care. Read more about couples therapy here.

Queer/trans kids and teens who need an adult on their side: It’s hard being a kid! So often adults forget that children and teens have their own internal worlds. If you’re a kid, especially a LGBTQ+ identified kid, you might find yourself feeling angry, powerless, and not worthy of respect from your peers or adults in your life. I know that bullies can be any age and that sometimes adults use their authority to bully kids. Read more about trans-affirming therapy here.

People struggling with low self-esteem and anxiety: Maybe you don’t believe in yourself. Perhaps somewhere down the line you’ve received the message that you weren’t good enough. You feel inadequate and unprepared for life. Sometimes these feelings of insecurity sit heavy in your heart; sometimes you feel so out of control from the pressure that your body goes into panic mode. It’s painful either way and we can help you find your way through it. Read more about therapy for anxiety here.

Family outcasts who are seeking belonging: “Blood is thicker than water.” “Nothing is more important than family.” We hear these phrases all the time, but for some folks these adages could not be further from the truth. Growing up with difficult family relationships can feel painful and isolating, like you have no back up and no foundation. Or, perhaps, you’re simply tired of feeling like the family scapegoat. Therapy can help you learn to value yourself, work through trauma, and open your heart to new connections with people. Read more about being the black sheep of your family here.

Here’s what I want you to know

In therapy, I strive to support client self-determination. I believe my clients know what’s best for themselves and support them in making their own choices and decisions about their treatment.

As such, I admit I don’t know everything, especially about my clients’ lives and experiences or the experiences of marginalized identities that I do not share. I believe humility is an important part of connecting with my clients and supporting their autonomy.

Change and healing is up to the client; my role is to help clients feel valued, accepted, and empowered to make change in their own lives.

The details

• Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist #138201.

• Specialized training in trauma-informed care; Gottman Method Couples Therapy (Levels 1 + 2), Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples/partners, Cognitive-Behavioral, Feminist, Narrative & Person-Centered therapies.

• Experienced in providing LGBTQIA+ affirmative therapy for teens (12-18), youth, adults, and couples/partners.

• Partner Perspectives: a psychotherapy group for partners of trans people to find support and process thoughts and feelings related to their loved one’s transition.

• MS, Counseling from CSU Fullerton

• BA, Sociology (Psychology minor) from CSU Long Beach